I come from a world of arranged dates.  This is vastly different from the world of arranged marriages where boys and girls are told whom to marry.  In my world, a matchmaker suggests a nice young man to a fine young lady — and then they decide whether or not they’d like to go on a date.  The matchmaker’s job is to arrange that first date, and then the couple makes their own decision as to whether they’d like to continue dating.

Back to my story.  Setting:  Autumn of 1997

At the ripe old age of nineteen-and-a-half, my parents and I decided that the time was right to begin dating for the purpose of marriage.  That’s the way it’s done in my Orthodox Jewish community, and that’s the way the vast majority of my friends began their journey to marriage and beyond.

I waited at the phone for weeks, willing it to ring with a suggested suitor for me to date.  (I didn’t actually wait at the phone; I had a job in graphic design, but I sometimes felt like I was doing nothing but waiting at the phone!)

Mrs. K from down the blocks suggested her friend’s son, and I finally had my first date.  It took me less than 5 minutes to realize that this guy was not destined to be my husband, however, I politely sat through the 2-hour date in the lobby of a nice hotel as we made small talk.

Fast-forward a few months.  The phone rang occasionally, and I went out on more dates — some good, some less-than-good.  Yet none of these fine gentlemen appeared to be the Prince Charming for whom I was waiting.   I could not quite verbalize exactly what sort of gentleman I was looking for, but I know that when he rode up my driveway on his white horse, I’d know that he was the one!

Little did I know just how true my vision would be.  (As long as I can substitute “1986 Toyota Corolla” for “white horse”.)

Allow me to introduce my 10-year-old cousin, Brocha Becker.   Brocha’s mother, had bought her a new dress.  But this was not just any new dress:  This dress was so special that it must be reserved for a wedding.  “But when am I going to go to a wedding?”  Brocha wondered.

My aunt wisely replied, “When your cousin Chaya gets married.”

Note:  My aunt was referring to me.  Chaya is my Hebrew name.  Ellen is my English name, and easier to pronounce.  I respond to either one, plus ‘Late for Breakfast’ and others — which shall remain private for now.

Lacking the patience to wait for me to get married, Brocha took matters into her own hands.  The very day she asked her classmate, Chana Braun, “Please tell me about your older brother”.

At my wedding in 1998, the videographer interviewed my cousin Brocha and my sister–in-law Chana.  I’ll step aside now so that you can hear the story in their own words:

And then we all lived happily ever after! Seriously — here’s a photo of my family at my all-grown-up sister-in-law Chana’s wedding several years ago:

The idea popped into my mind without warning: It all started when my friend-and-frequent-amazon-shopper-Dina asked me, “So, Ellen, what happened to your HelpEllen blog? Have you petered out already?”

Her question struck a raw nerve because I pride myself on being a ‘finisher’ — not just a ‘starter’. And I started to rack my brain, searching for ideas about ‘what to blog about on HelpEllen?’

Then I saw a Facebook post by Sharon of the beautiful Fasion-Isha blog, where she put up a GORGEOUS new header and offered her services for any Facebook page in need of a header! I couldn’t pass up this chance to take advantage of her talents, and I hired her to design my then-empty HelpEllen Facebook page.

Now Dina’s question about petering out, and Sharon’s lovely new HelpEllen header were BOTH burning a hole in my mind! What should I blog about on HelpEllen?

Originally, I had planned to blog about various interesting purchases that people make on Amazon.com. And while I still see value there, it just didn’t inspire me enough to update the blog on a regular basis. (Translation: A little-bit-boooooriiiiiing.)

That’s when the idea popped into my mind:

A FUNNY BLOG!

You’ll be the judge as to how funny this blog will be. In fact, being that I’m less than fully confident in my own funnyness, I ordered this book: The Comic Toolbox: How to be Funny Even if You’re Not. It was the subtitle that really grabbed me, ‘How to be funny even if you’re not’ — so I figured that since I’m not COMPLETELY UN-FUNNY now, the book will raise my funny quotient exponentially!

(Beware: Don’t drink and read HelpEllen.com simultaneously, or your keyboard may be splattered by your coffee.)

I’m still waiting for my ‘The Comic Toolbox’ book to arrive in the mail. And, to tell the truth, I have a few funny ideas for blog posts even though the book has not yet arrived! Check back soon:)

It’s another beautiful day (yes, I did some work at the lake again!), and it’s once again time to thank several thoughtful Amazon shoppers who clicked through a HelpEllen link. Thank you!

Who knew that Amazon sold such BEAUTIFUL area rugs? This gorgeous rug has a 3-dimensional flower design, and is just stunning! It’s also available in a wide variety of colors: Black, taupe, green, red, light blue, terra, and tan. What a stunning work of art to round out a nice cozy living room – I almost wish that I had bare wood in my living room so that I could get this lovely rug! Made of 100% wool, this rug looks like it’s about to sprout!

Thank you to the buyer of the rug; enjoy it!

We all need SOCKS, although I have never thought about ordering my family’s socks on Amazon – hey, why not?

Thank you to the buyer of these socks; where them in good health!

Did you ever hear that one only needs 2 things, duct tape and WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn’t, use the duct tape. It it doesn’t move and it should, use the WD-40.

And Elmer’s glue definitely has it’s place on the list of life’s necessities. Thank you to the kind person who purchased this glue yesterday!

Hey! Have you purchased anything on Amazon lately? Remember HelpEllen.com next time you’d like to make a purchase – thank you!

I am unsure about whether or not I like working outside. Today is about 70 degrees here in Baltimore, and I am tempted to wash and put away all of my kids’ coats for the season! However, I know full well that if I put all of the coats away, that will probably signal to Mother Nature to bring the frigid winter tempatures back again. So I’ll leave the coats alone, even though the coat closet is way too overstuffed in the wintertime, and i yearn for that half-empty coat closet of the summer which allows me lots of space to hide odds and ends that don’t belong anywhere in particular inside of it.

Back to working outside – I decided to take advantage of the beautiful day and bring my ipad with its keyboard case to a nearby lake to work. There were a few joggers that passed by, but otherwise I enjoyed the solitude of the park occasionally interrupted by the honking of the swimming geese.

I think the problem is the sun. The sunshine, which made this glorious day so lovely, also made it difficult for me to see the screen of my ipad. Like most electronic devices, the ipad is backlit, and the glare of the sun makes it hard to see the screen clearly. So I typed out some articles that needed to be written while watching the geese in the lake. I’m a quick typist, and there’s no reason why I need to look at the screen the whole time that I type an article.

So, my morning at the lake was productive, however, I wonder if I would be able to feel accomplished outside if I needed to do some work that involved intense scrutiny of the screen – if I needed to edit or create a few new web pages. There is a gazebo nearby which offers some shade, so I could try working in there and see if that solves the glare issue next time I come to the like.

In the meantime, good-bye geese. Thanks for keeping me company on this beautiful morning!

I’ve been backlogged with regard to many things in my life, and I have been remiss about recent purchases through HelpEllen.com. I have also been remiss about dealing with a massive pile of papers at my side – mostly insurance issues, it looks like. Not a whole lot of fun.

THANK YOU to the person who bought the Rimmel Last Lipsticks! I appreciate you! There were a few of those lipsticks in my stats recently; I hope you enjoy this lipstick. Smile:)

THANK YOU very much to the person who purchased this bottle of Kirkland Vitamin C with Rose Hips and Citrus Bioflavonoid Complex (1000 mg), 500-Count Tablets! Enjoy your vitamins in good health:)

THANK YOU so much to the person who bought this large box of Luvs diapers! Use them in good health, and enjoy your little prince or princess! Thank him or her for using products purchased through a HelpEllen link:)

THANK YOU to whoever bought this sweet booster seat! It looks like it has lots of useful configurations, and it has 4.7 stars with 1,250 reviews – Wow! I haven’t seen a product with so many positive reviews like that in a while! Generally, once a product has over 200 reviews it’s challenging for it to stay above a 4.5 rating, as there will invariably be some people who post a negative review.

Okay, that’s all for now. I know that I neglected to report a lot of purchases, and if you bought something that you’d like to see featured here on HelpEllen, just shoot me an email!

Here’s a photo I just snapped of the balloon Mishloach Manos on and around the couch. I must confess, that I hadn’t cleaning the living room sufficiently to take a photo yesterday, and yesterday’s blog post – Have a Popping Purim – used a photo I took 2 years ago! I have 35 of these balloons ready, and my sons have also contributed by making a few balloon Mishloach Manos for their friends. (The kids refused to put an orange in the balloons for their friends… hmmm….)

The big question that we get every year is, “How do you get the food inside the balloon?” Actually, one wise and practical recipient once asked, “How do I get the food OUT of the balloon?” Here are some photos of the Pump-A-Present device, as it does its job:

You can see me putting a wafer into the yellow part of the Pump-A-Present here. For all of you who wish to buy your own Pump-A-Present device, I got this at M and N Party Store around 2007. Unfortunately, it is no longer available, for reasons that I cannot fathom. If you want to invent a similar device, I’m confident that you’ll be really successful!

Here are a few more photos of the Pump-A-Present process in action:

The beginning of the pumping process: The green moveable piece at the end of the pump is moved up and down to force air into the yellow chamber that holds the food, which leads to the balloon.

More pumps = more air = a bigger balloon!

A few soft shakes make all the food items fall downward into the balloon! Magic!

A few more pumps to get the balloon up to size, and then it’s time to twist the balloon off the pump and tie it.

The holiday of Purim falls out on March 8 this year, so it’s time to get ready for Mishloach Manos once again.

Since I bought the ‘Pump A Present’ product 5 years ago, we have been putting our goodies into 18″ stuffing balloons, much to the delight of our recipients!

Are you wondering how I got all that food inside of a balloon? That’s the secret to the ‘Pump A Present’ apparatus – which, unfortunately, is no longer available (except for rare occasions on ebay or craigslist).

This is the first year that I made these colorful ‘Have a Popping Purim!’ labels.

Are you interested in seeing how the food gets inside of the balloon? Stay tuned for another blog post on HelpEllen.com…. coming soon!

Thank you to the buyer who just purchased 9 of these adorable little squirt cameras!

At just 39 cents each, these cute squirt cameras are a fun addition to any kind of water fun with kids or adults! If you’re the buyer of these cameras, let me know how you will be using them — I’m curious!

Personally, I thought this would be an interesting post. At least it’s interesting to me – I am always curious about business profits! When I visit a restaurant, I attempt to calculate how much my dish and the service costs the business and how much their profit should be. When I visit the hair salon, I do the same sort of internal calculations. So, this is a blog post about HelpEllen.com’s profits. The screenshot above shows my Amazon stats for this website alone, NOT all of my Amazon earnings — this is just a tiny percentage of my overall Amazon income from these months!

I launched this site in the middle of October of 2011. I did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to promote this site. Well, I emailed a handful of friends about this site, and I posted it on my personal Facebook page, and emailed it to a local group of about 200 women in my neighborhood. That’s it. I actually have big plans regarding the promotion of this site, however, that will be the subject of another blog post one day soon.

I’m pleased to report that HelpEllen.com has earned $251.57 during the past 4.5 months from Amazon alone. I know that some online shoppers have used the Walmart link that I have listed under the ‘Other Stores‘ link. Which actually reminds me that I need to fill out a certain form to get a Zappos.com affiliate link for that page, as I know that a lot of my friends shop at Zappos.

Here is the breakdown of the types of products purchased on Amazon through HelpEllen:

Apparel and Accessories: 3 items

Baby: 8 items

Beauty: 3 items

Books: 20 items

Cell phones and accessories: 4 items

Computers: 5 items

DVD: 3 items

Electronics: 2 items

Amazon Gift Card: 7 items

Grocery: 6 itmes

Health and Personal Care: 28 items

Home and Garden: 1 item

Kindle Hardware: 1 item

Kitchen and Housewares: 2 items

MP3 downloads: 2 items

Office Products: 12 items

Other: 7 items

Shoes: 3 items

Sports: 1 item

Toys and Games: 17 items

Keep shopping, my friends! I appreciate you!

I get lots of phone calls and emails from people who have asked me how to make money online. Many of these phone calls are long, and most of these email conversations last for quite a while! So, I decided to put up a website with the basic information about how to make money online so that I could point all these curious inquirers to my site and save myself some time:)

I built the website OnlineGelt.com over a year ago. (Gelt = money in Yiddish!) OnlineGelt: 101 is a free e-course, and OnlineGelt: 201 is a $47 e-course with more in depth information. Many of my clients had detailed and personal business questions after completing the 201 course, so I created this membership forum: Online Gelt Private Coaching.

Here is the March 2012 Online Gelt Private Coaching Special for you: (Yes, I know it’s a day early! It’s better than being a day late, don’t you think?)

Your first month’s membership at Online Gelt Private Coaching is just $29. After that, if you decide to remain an active member (you can choose to cancel at any time you please!), the monthly investment is only $47.

If you think you might benefit from learning to make money online, take a look at some of my stats, and join the forum!

I look forward to meeting you online! Get started here: http://onlinegelt.com/personal-coaching/

Ellen